Soul of Smoke Read online

  Kai threw up her hands in helpless exasperation. Her mind kept replaying the same words over and over. Cadoc, dead. Cadoc, dead. “How could I know? No one told me!” Her thoughts jumbled. Cadoc, dead. Rhys, in agony. “So Ashem can’t go after Cadoc because Rhys can’t fight?”

  Deryn laughed derisively. “You really are scalebrained. Ashem can’t go after Cadoc because Rhys is the king.”

  If she kissed Rhys now, maybe they would still have time to save Cadoc. Maybe he was still—”Wait, Rhys is what?”

  “Y Ddraig Goch. The Red Dragon. The King of Dragons.” Deryn clenched her hands into fists and snarled, like she wanted to shake Kai but was resisting. “When Owain killed our father, he took control of the other part somehow. If Rhys dies, his part of the mantle goes to me. If Owain kills both of us, he gets the whole thing. If we try to save Cadoc with Rhys half-sworn like this, he will die.”

  Kai’s mind reeled. Rhys is king. Save Cadoc. Rhys is king. “What if I kiss Rhys and we’re heartsworn? That would make him stronger, wouldn’t it? Could you go after Cadoc then?”

  Deryn seemed to deflate. Without anger, she was close to tears. “The Invisible will be here tomorrow, and we’ll see what we can do for him then. But if you think Cadoc’s capture is the most important thing I’ve just told you, you’re stupider than I thought. Rhys is the king, Kai. He’s the only thing standing between Owain and attempted human genocide, which means the only thing keeping humans from discovering and killing us. We can’t put him in danger for Cadoc.”

  Kai put a hand on the wall. The world flickered. She gulped air. “Human genocide,” she repeated numbly. “All of this depends on Rhys.”

  Deryn swiped at her watery eyes. “Yes. And Rhys won’t be able to do anything without you. There’s nothing either of you can do about it, so please just kiss him so he doesn’t hurt anymore.”

  Kai opened her mouth, then closed it. “I—I didn’t ask for this.”

  Deryn shot her a contemptuous, teary look. “And Rhys did? People don’t ask for natural disasters or accidents or war, but they happen. Things happen. Deal with it. Because if you can’t you’re taking everyone down with you. I thought you should know.”

  Deryn strode away down the passage. Kai watched her go, unable to move. Unable to think.

  Several minutes later, the sound of pounding feet echoed down the tunnel. Kai braced herself for Deryn’s return.

  “Kai!” Juli appeared. To Kai’s surprise, Ashem trailed reluctantly after her, his hands in his pockets. “You will not believe what these morons are hiding from you.”

  Kai rubbed her face. “Try me.” She tried to keep her voice light, but it came out sarcastic.

  Juli turned suddenly to face Ashem, who hadn’t spoken. “You can shut up! He’s an idiot. You both are.”

  Ashem grimaced, and Juli turned back. “Kai, he’s their king. Rhys. The one who’s heartsworn to you.”

  Kai barked a laugh. “Yeah, so I heard.” She shifted her gaze to Ashem, and her voice went hard. “And I heard about Cadoc. Deryn told me.”

  Juli snorted at Ashem. “Clearly, Deryn is more intelligent than you.”

  “Then you know why I haven’t gone after him.” Ashem’s face was a neutral mask, but Juli’s face softened.

  Kai twisted her finger through her carabiner tight, then tighter, until the metal bit into her flesh and it felt like her bones might break. Cadoc, she couldn’t help. But she could save Rhys. And then he could save everyone else.

  All it would cost was her freedom. All it would cost was her life.

  Juli tugged Kai’s hands away from her carabiners and held them, dark eyes full of compassion. She pulled Kai into a tight embrace. “What are you going to do?”

  Kai hugged her back, squeezing tight. Throw up. Jump into a wormhole that erases my existence so Cadoc will be okay. Go home and hide under the covers. Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and she had to let Juli go before she lost it entirely. Kai’s stomach dropped at the thought of home. My family. Human genocide.

  Rhys had tried to give her a choice, but in a way, he’d also lied. She’d never had a choice.

  Kai swallowed the whiney, fearful voice that cried that she hadn’t asked for this. She didn’t want to be heartsworn, and she certainly didn’t want to be heartsworn to a war-entangled king.

  She needed time—just a little bit. A few hours. A day. Just so she could wrap her head around everything. And then...she thought of walking up to Rhys with the intention of kissing him. Imagined touching him, breathing him in. Enjoying it. Enjoying it very, very much.

  But how could he—a dragon, a king, a being with a hundred times more life experience—enjoy kissing her? And what if he didn’t enjoy it? Outside of what he’d been forced to do by the heartswearing, Rhys had never given her any indication that she was anything special. She didn’t want a man who was with her because he had to be; she wanted a man who loved her.

  Even more terrifying: what if she fell for Rhys and he never fell back?

  She swallowed. It didn’t matter. Love, or lack of it, had nothing to do with the problem at hand. “I guess I’m going to go talk to him.”

  * * *

  “Rhys?”

  Kai was in luck. He was alone. He’d cleared a wide space in the hoard next to a rack of weapons and stood, facing away from her, shirtless, white bandages still wrapped around one shoulder. Daggers hung from both white-knuckled fists. The muscles of his back heaved with every breath, and his skin glistened with sweat. He’d been pushing himself.

  He bowed his head as she approached. Kai curled her fingers, her nails digging into her palms. Deryn’s revelation beat against her skull. She wished she knew Rhys better. That he didn’t scare her, sometimes. That she could trust him to be a friend, an ally. That she had some idea how her life might go.

  I’m not cut out for this crap.

  He moved toward the rack of weapons on the back wall. “Kai?”

  It was her turn to shudder. His voice slid across her name like silk. Had it always sounded like that? The single syllable wrapped itself around so many meanings; a greeting, a What are you doing here?, and beneath that, an almost-hidden sound of yearning. How many men on the planet could take her breath away by saying her name?

  “I spoke to Deryn. By which I mean she shouted all your secrets at me.”

  He crossed the room before the daggers could clatter to the floor, eyes blazing. His fingers wrapped around her upper arms like gentle bands of steel, the skin of his palms a hair below painfully hot. His scent washed over her, wild and masculine with a hint of smoke, it rocketed along her nerves and made her want to bite her lip and breathe deep. His gaze skimmed her, strong fingers feathering down her arms. “Did she hurt you?”

  “No!” The memory of Rhys almost killing Cadoc made her say it louder than she meant to. Her face must have shown her fear, because the light in his eyes died. He closed them and turned away, running a hand through his hair before smoothing it again.

  He was leaving. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

  “Rhys.” Kai stopped him with a touch on his arm, and he froze. “Me being in the room helps, doesn’t it? And being close...touching?”

  He gave a single, tight nod.

  She licked her lips. “I’ll be around you more, if it helps. You should have told me who you are. I mean, I may not have wanted to know the details, but ‘Hey, Kai, I’m the only thing that stands between evil and the human race’ would have been nice.”

  He turned to face her, his brows arched in surprise. “You believe Deryn? Maybe she’s lying. Trying to make you feel guilty so you’ll swear to me.”

  Without breaking his gaze, she pressed her palm to his chest and pulled it away. His breath hitched. Kai raised her eyebrows. “She’s not lying about you being in pain.”

  A muscle
in his jaw jumped. “That gives her more reason to tell you a tall tale about me being some kind of last hope.”

  Kai tilted her chin up. “Tell me it’s not true.”

  His mouth curled in a derisive smile. “I have more reason to lie than she does.”

  “Then tell me it’s not true.”

  His smile disappeared.

  Kai didn’t bother suppressing her own smile of triumph. “Deryn isn’t lying. Especially not since Juli came running down the tunnel ten seconds later and told me the same thing.” Her smile faded. “I know about Cadoc, too. That he’s—” Her voice shook. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”

  He stiffened at the sound of Cadoc’s name, but then bent to retrieve the daggers and hung them on pegs in the wall. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

  Kai rubbed at the wetness that threatened to spill from her eyes. “I would have heartsworn to you. I mean—I might have. Then neither of us would be to blame.”

  “I wanted...” He trailed off then took a breath. “I wanted you to choose without...” He shook his head.

  “Without what?”

  Rhys didn’t answer.

  Kai let out a frustrated breath. “If I kiss you, will it help you save Cadoc? Tomorrow, when the other dragons get here?” If he’s still alive. Please, let him be alive.

  He flinched. “You would heartswear to me to save Cadoc?”

  Kai closed her eyes. She hadn’t meant it to sound like that; like she felt more for Cadoc than friendship. She didn’t. She was just scrambling to think of anything she could do to help.

  “Rhys?”

  He fiddling with the weapons lining the wall. A long moment stretched by.

  “Rhys!” He still didn’t turn. Kai marched over and inserted herself between him and the wall.

  Mistake. She knew it as soon as he looked down, his surprised, electric gaze locking first on her eyes, then her lips. The scant inches of air between their bodies grew so hot Kai expected it to spark and steam. Her breath caught. This close, he took up the world.

  She tried to remember what she’d wanted to say. “I...” She swallowed. “I never felt anything for Cadoc but friendship. The kiss—” She dropped her gaze to his lips. “It didn’t mean anything.” Standing this close had made her voice dangerously breathy.

  His voice was low and rough. “Cadoc is easy to talk to.”

  Kai flashed back to the feeling of Rhys’s arms around her on the ledge. To his hand closing around hers in the river. To the first time he’d called her George.

  Cadoc was gorgeous, funny and kind, but he’d never stopped her breath by saying her name.

  In that moment, she wanted to kiss Rhys; to uncover that unknown, exquisite something that she’d sensed the night he’d sworn to her. She still didn’t love him, not yet. But she was dangerously close to falling.

  The thought terrified her, and she put a hand on Rhys’s chest to push him away. With shocking strength, he clamped one of his own hands over it, trapping her fingers against his heart. He was only a breath away, his free hand once again braced on the wall, forehead nearly resting against hers.

  “Rhys...” There was no other choice. “Kiss me.”

  His eyes widened, then narrowed. “What?”

  Heat crept up Kai’s neck and cheeks. “Kiss me. I’ll heartswear to you.” She couldn’t catch her breath. “If you still want.”

  He laughed, a sound so unexpected Kai jumped. “If I want?” He raised a hand to her face, the rough pad of his thumb tracing her cheek, his touch crackling along every nerve in her body. His eyes went hazy, and he brought his other hand to the back of her neck, sliding his fingers through her hair to cradle her head. “I want you like breath, Kai. Like sun. Like wind and wings.”

  His words made her head spin. He leaned down. Kai tried to be ready. She’d thought she was ready. But her body tensed. Panic blossomed. All her freedom, gone with a kiss. Her breath came fast and shallow. She still had a hand on his chest, and she flexed her fingers, willing herself not to push him away.

  It isn’t about me. It’s about everyone else.

  Rhys stopped, his mouth hovering an inch over hers. And then he stepped back, half turning away.

  Kai sagged. She felt like a balloon someone had blown up and then let go. Confused, she straightened. “Rhys?”

  He wouldn’t meet her gaze. He panted like he’d just run a mile. “Not like this. Not with you frightened half out of your mind. I want. You don’t.”

  She pushed away from the wall. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you, I’m pretty sure Ashem doesn’t intend to let me leave here without heartswearing, and nothing is going to change how terrifying this is for me between tonight and tomorrow.”

  “He doesn’t.” Rhys moved down the wall, once again studying the weapons. Outwardly he ignored her, but she knew he was aware of her in the way his body remained slightly angled to her, in how his gaze would flick toward her but never actually to her. Again, she wished he were human. Normal. Anything but the freaking dragon king.

  He pulled a long, silver spear off the wall, hefting it. Kai waited.

  Rhys tossed her the spear. Without thinking, she reached out and caught it. It was surprisingly light. Kai looked at him questioningly.

  He took a staff from the rack of weapons. “I have to keep my mind off Cadoc. And you. I can’t give you a choice, but I can give you a little time.”

  Gratitude washed over her. She didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know how to use this.”

  “I’ll teach you.”

  She wanted to shake him. Her insides were jelly from that almost-kiss and he wanted to teach her how to use a spear. “What about heartswearing?”

  Finally, he looked at her. She wasn’t sure what to make of the expression on his face. Sadness, wariness, hope. “Spend time with me tonight. Maybe, when the time comes, we’ll both be less afraid.”

  Kai hesitated, then nodded, giving the spear an experimental twirl. A headache had started at her temples, pounding like distant drums. Cadoc was dead or being tortured. Tomorrow she’d kiss Rhys and lose her old life and her independence forever.

  “Not thinking for a while sounds good to me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Family and Blood

  Rhys taught Kai the first form of the spear. She memorized the dance-like moves after two demonstrations, but they spent a couple of hours practicing. He tried to keep his eyes on her hands and feet, but, Ancients, it was a pleasure to watch the way she moved, the way her long shirt clung to the curve of waist and hip.

  Kai was unafraid to sweat. Graceful and agile, she could be more than a passable fighter; she could be a warrior.

  Not that it mattered. Wingless didn’t fight.

  She slammed the butt of the spear against the ground in the final stance, breathing hard, and grinned at him. Perspiration plastered inky wisps of hair to her forehead. Her cheeks were rosy with exertion, her eyes bright behind their fringe of black lashes. Rhys couldn’t help grinning back.

  Kai relaxed and leaned the spear against the wall. “Can we get some water?”

  He nodded, absently tapping fingers against his chest. It didn’t hurt, exactly. Forms required a sort of hands-on teaching; adjusting her arm here, repositioning her foot there. His arms on either side of her, her body cradled against him, dark head level with the top of his chest.

  Ancients. He couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t dwell on the memory of her mouth, barely an inch from his. Or her fear.

  He bit back a growl. “Let’s go up.”

  They walked to the kitchen. The sky, visible through the cave mouth, was dark and dusted with stars. No one else was around, and Rhys assumed they’d all gone to bed. He got water from the spout and handed the full cup to Kai. Their fingers br
ushed, and a wave of heat coursed through him.

  They took cushions across the table from each other, drinking in silence. After a minute, Kai set her empty cup on the table. A second later, she picked it up and rolled it between her palms. She was never still.

  “So...I was thinking, and I really do want to know more.” She studied the squatty brown cup like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen.

  He examined the bottom of his own empty cup and rolled his shoulder. The scarred skin pulled, but the pain was gone. Aside from the burning in his chest, he was healed. “More?”

  She seemed hesitant. “Yeah. You know...more about the war. About Owain. About you. All the things I was too stupid to ask about before.”

  Rhys set down his cup, relief clashing with unease. It could only be a good sign that Kai wanted to hear the details, but it wasn’t a story he enjoyed telling.

  “Um...” Her cheeks pinked. “Are you...you know? Do you want me to sit next to you?”

  Rhys tried not to groan in relief. “Yes.”

  She stood and moved around the table, settling close to him. They watched each other awkwardly for a moment. The space between their bodies seemed to shriek and pulse.

  Kai gave him an uncertain smile. “So, begin at the beginning, I guess. How did the war start?”

  Rhys took a breath, settling back against the stone wall. “The story is a long one.”

  “In that case...” Kai took an extra cushion and stuck it behind her back. Then she offered one to Rhys.

  He put it behind him. With Kai so near, the pain in his chest had gone to nearly nothing. “More than a thousand years ago, my aunt, Rigani, was queen. She was quite a bit older than my father. I don’t remember very much about her, except that she always used to give me sweets.” He half-smiled.

  Kai leaned toward him. Not much, just a little. Just enough that the side of her hand nearly touched his where they rested on the table. “I assumed your father was king.”

  “He was, later.” Rhys shifted so that their hands touched, the sides barely brushing against each other. The electric energy rolled through him. She had to feel it, too, but she didn’t pull away. “But first, my aunt was queen. She had only one child, my cousin Owain. He’s always been obsessed with magic, especially the artifacts the Ancients left behind.”